drhooves: (Default)
Scene # 2.3, draft # 1
*****************

It was cold the next morning. Benson didn't have enough time to have breakfast or even make coffee or tea, but he was so keyed up it didn't matter. He hurried out the door, and made his way down the dark streets, the four block walk to the bus stop over wet pavement. He waited five minutes for the bus, which was running on schedule, and not crowded. Boarding it numbly, Benson sat down near the middle door, putting his suitcase out of the aisle, and maintaining a firm grip on his backpack, cradled it in his lap like a mother holding a child.

Downtown near the transfer square, he caught a trolley to the train station. It was depressing for Benson, always, as he entered the old Union Station, now officially called Portland West District Main Junction. He recalled the days of the shiny marble, bustling crowds, the echoes of movement like in a cathedral, masses in motion, and the clean and friendly facility. Now it was dark, quiet, crumbling and bleak, the central waiting area long ago carved up into sections for military and commercial use, the wood and plastic dividers muffling the noise. Mold and cobwebs were in the corners. Boxes of junk and broken chairs littered the narrow aisle that passengers traveling by rail were funneled through, where their identification papers and travel vouchers were checked. The tile floor was chipped and filthy, but not so hard that numerous vagrants weren't using it to catch some sleep, out of the rain.

Benson made his way through the security check rather easily, his government credentials being good for at least that one perk. Considering what was in his luggage, that was a nice perk indeed. He made his way to the last of four passenger cars, which contained the passenger compartments at higher class levels. He peered down the tracks, where about two dozen freight and tanker cars and a diesel engine in the distance comprised the rest of the train. He managed to find his way to the second class seat, where he was pleased to see that he was sharing the compartment with only one other person. He stored his suitcase, his backpack, and his jacket and hat in a small closet and then sat down on the bench seat on his side.

He nodded at the other man, who was middle-aged and somewhat younger than Benson. “Good morning.”

The other man nodded curtly and replied, “Good morning.” He opened his newspaper, covering his face, discouraging further conversation.

Benson smiled to himself. These days, you never know who might be sitting or standing next to you, so was always a prudent and preferred path to pretty much say nothing to anyone. He sat quietly, looking out the window of the train, waiting for it to depart in the darkness and mist, and the first gray light of dawn. He held a book in his hand, a government regulation on raising chickens, unopened.

Within a few minutes and with a sharp jerk, followed by a smoothly accelerating clickety-clack, the train got underway. Benson knew that the main route was going to be cars that were pulled by a diesel electric engine, and relatively quick and smooth. After Spokane, however, the local line further north would change to a rickety steam locomotive, using wood for fuel. The tracks would be maintained at a lower standard, and the going slower.

An hour later the train passed through Hood River, briefly stopping for passengers, and the continued traveling along the south side of the Columbia River. The landscape was changing quickly now, from the green Willamette Valley and tall firs to the drier scrub of the lee side of the Cascades. The sun was up, the rays slanting weakly through the trees, the fog and low clouds giving way to clear blue skies.

The man seated across from Benson finished his paper, folding it neatly and placing it on the seat beside him.

“Do you mind if I read that paper? I forgot to get one in the station.”

The man looked annoyed for a moment, then remembered he and Benson were traveling in a coach reserved for government officials. He nodded and said, “Sure.” He handed it to Benson.

“Any interesting news?” Benson figured it was best to be polite.

“Not really. The weather looks pretty good this week, though a bit cooler than normal. The Southern Forces are putting down some skirmishes east of Las Vegas, and southwest of Denver, near the old Four Corners area. I'm sure that won't take long.”

Benson grunted as he opened the paper. He had his doubts, since it was two years ago the “skirmishes” between the well-equipped Army and Air Forces of the government were taking place near the Rio Grande river further south. The ghost of Pancho Via was alive and well.

“We could use some good weather this spring to allow for a better crop this year, and bump up the food reserves. Prices are going up.” Benson put a perplexed look on his face. “Not sure why, since the numbers have been pretty steady. I work in the Audit Division by the way, so I see the numbers on a regular basis.”

“I see,” replied the other man. “I'm a professor over at Reed Institute, and I'm heading up to a meeting in Spokane. My specialty is cultural analysis, specifically concerning the ongoing impact of some of the religious groups, or cults, in the Outland, including their raids on government supplies.”

Benson felt an ice cold pang streak through the pit of his stomach. He looked closely at the man, but didn't detect a smirk or knowing look. He held out his hand. “The name is Benson, Arthur Benson.”

The other man, surprised for a moment, shook his hand. “Professor Wolfgang Frederick. Perhaps you've heard of my work concerning the Branch Davidians or the Jasmine Breeze movement. My analysis was a significant factor in eliminating that threat.”

Benson nodded politely. “Yes, I do recall your name associated with that uprising.” Benson actually knew just the basics of the event. “That was back in the fall of 2029, right?”

“Late summer, actually. Two skirmishes in August, and then the stand-off in September. Brought up some memories of Ruby Ridge for the old timers, and the old border wars for the locals in North Platte. It didn't take long to squash them.”

Benson needed to know more. “I didn't realize there were religious groups causing any trouble, though I know the black market trade has picked up recently.”

Frederick nodded grimly. “These groups are difficult to stamp out, even after the loss of a charismatic leader. The rank and file tend to get sucked into another group soon after, as there's always someone who in the midst of a power trip thinks they can rise up, drive changes and be great.”

The train clattered along, the dry brown landscape in sharp contrast to the deep blue sky and waters of the river. Benson glanced out the window, and then thoughtfully asked, “Do these groups represent a real threat?”

“From a military or security perspective, no. But the long-term effects of the underlying messages can create problems, since they're chasing dreams of a supposedly better life.” Frederick shook his head. “In spite of evidence to the contrary, these fools think that self-determination is some sort of right, and don't grasp the benefits for full support of the State.”

Benson nodded, inwardly grimacing. Not that the State really cared about the Outlanders, he thought. “So what groups are we talking about, and how do they stay organized with so few resources?”

“Good question.” Obviously Frederick was warming to the task, being a man who enjoyed hearing himself chatter on. “They have a very strict need-to-know personal relationship among the members, with most knowing only one or two others in the group - for sure. They maintain communication with a very flat organizational structure, meaning there's only a couple of hops in the chain of command from the leader to the foot soldiers.”

Frederick stretched on his bench seat, now more relaxed. “Many of the groups are local, and are just sub-splinters off a church group, like the Voyagers or the Burning Redwoods. They'll most likely never amount to much, but will maybe will start a local labor strike or something. But others, like the Mentors or God Loves Only Warriors are larger, and have a central control structure that keeps them in touch with rebels and criminals, government workers, enemy agents and other key figures. These groups are the ones we need to keep an eye on.”

Benson felt another cold pang of fear, but Frederick didn't seem to imply any hidden meaning in his words.

The train made a scheduled stop in The Dalles, and then slowed again when crossing the Columbia further up the river. Benson and Frederick continued their conversation, changing topics now and then, but Benson learned nothing more about GLOW, or the level of intelligence the government had on the group. Frederick talked about his work, thinly disguising his egotistical bragging as an informative life story. He remarked how in his paper on the Branch Davidians, it was a breach in operational security that had provided warning about the raid, and the standoff and tragedy could have been completely avoided with a change of tactics. Frederick had then made a career out of consulting with government security forces, and implementing changes to ensure more effective removals of the threats.

The train continued on for a couple of more hours on the north side of the river before arriving in Pasco. There another pair of passengers joined them in their compartment, and the conversation was limited after that. By mid-afternoon the train arrived in Spokane, and Benson and Frederick exchanged business cards while gathering up their belongings.

“I've been directed to identify problems like we had in Pocatello a couple of weeks ago, and your expertise may help with that,” said Benson. “I may have some more questions for you, or want to attend one of your training sessions, if that's possible.”

Frederick nodded. “We're always looking for another set of eyes and ears.”
drhooves: (Default)
Scene # 2.2, Draft # 1
******************

Benson left work after several hours, caught the bus to the Tabor Mountain neighborhood in the rain, and darkness was falling when he arrived back home. He had barely stepped inside the door when his home telephone rang. He rarely used it, and suspected it was one of his neighbors, probably Maggie.

“Hello,” he said, trying to be polite though still hungover.

“Why hello there, Mr. Benson. I saw that you just got home, and was wondering if you'd like to join me for some tea?” The voice was old, dry and cracked, but still firm and lucid. It was Maggie. Benson thought about begging off, but was so tired maybe it would be nice to have someone else fix a hot beverage and maybe a snack.

“Sure, Maggie. Give me five minutes to change, and I'll be right over.”

He said goodbye, hung up the phone and changed out of his damp clothes. He sat down briefly, thinking he might vomit again, but the queasiness passed. He put on some old tennis shoes, high tops, with thick rubber soles he once found useful for hiking. Rummaging through his kitchen cupboards, Benson found a sealed tin of black tea, government issue, and a small box of sweet crackers. Maggie liked her tea, and went through her monthly ration quickly, so Benson liked to routinely provide her with an extra package or two - he always had plenty since he preferred coffee, when it was available.

He put on a jacket, opened the front door and locked it behind him. Maggie lived in a small house across the street, run down, with moss on the shingles and siding, dirty windows, and rotting under the rainy Portland winters. Benson strode up her driveway, now clogged with weeds growing from cracks in the concrete, car traffic long gone. The yard too was clogged with weeds, untended flower beds, and the remains of a vegetable garden Maggie used in the summer, coaxing green beans, basil and mushrooms from the earth. Several small raspberry bushes thrust their forlorn bare branches towards the sky in one corner, while a huge holly bush guarded the front walk, its spiky leaves sharp. It was quiet, with no wind and no sound, except for the dripping of rain water off the plants and roof.

Benson stepped up to the front porch and knocked on the door. Maggie opened the door, and smiled at Benson. She said hello, motioned for him to sit in the living room, and shuffled off to the kitchen, her slippers rasping almost silently on the worn wooden floor slats. Benson hung his jacket on a peg, and placed the tin of tea and box of crackers on a low table in front of a lumpy couch, the leather splotched and split in some places, covered with an old quilt. He sat on the end of the couch nearest a rocking chair that Maggie liked. The house was as quiet as the outside, with the sounds of dripping water muffled, and an occasional creak of the wooden frames.

From the kitchen sounds of metal banging and then a loud crash as something made from glass was shattered. “Oh no!” Maggie's cry of anguish echoed through the house.

Benson stood up and went to the kitchen. Maggie stood above a mess of broken glass and some preserves, probably blackberry, splattered out in a circular pattern from where the jar had hit the tile floor. Maggie looked up, saw Benson in the door frame and said, “I can't believe I'm so clumsy. That was the last of the blackberry jam Tiffany gave me last fall.”

“Not a problem,” said Benson, soothingly. “I've still got a jar she gave me. Let me go home and get it. By the way, I've got some tea and crackers for you on the table.”

A few minutes later, Benson was seated back on Maggie's couch, listening to her chatter on about her life. She had poured hot tea for them, and had some scones to go along with the preserves and crackers. Maggie was pushing 90, and had been through a lot in her life, starting out on her own as a wide-eyed optimist in the late 1960s.

“I went down to the market today, hoping some of the farmers still had some fresh vegetables leftover. I can't believe they want 15 Ameros now for a head of cabbage.”

“Yes, unfortunately everything is getting expensive,” said Benson. “I can tell you from the numbers I been working with through our office, that it's not going to get better any time soon.”

“Do you remember how it used to be, back when we had grocery stores with everything that we would ever want, and at prices that were so cheap considering the money most of us were making?”

“Yes, I hear a lot of that in my field. Many of the farmers in the Outland and even some of the production workers here in the city remember the good old days. I think it's still a shock to most of us older folks at how quickly things change.” Benson sighed, and took a sip of tea. He thought back to his childhood, when Reagan was president, and the United States was still whole.

“So how is work going?” Maggie knew from her years of living across the street from Benson, that his job could be chaotic and very stressful. He had withdrawn even more so from the neighborhood, above and beyond the natural shunning he received as a government employee, after his wife had died.

“Well, in some ways things are about the same. We don't have enough manpower, and some of the things were trying to do are not well received by everyone away from the cities.” Benson glanced around the room and then added, “But lately it's even been more stressful, as there have been numerous crimes of violence since we're experiencing food shortages again.”

“Yes, I read about an incident in Pocatello in the state paper a couple weeks ago. I think you were out of town then. You might not have heard about it, but there was some rioting going on down in the Pearl District, when the authorities came in to evict some homeless people from a vacant building.” Maggie fought back her emotions, as she was still angry.

“I didn't hear about that.”

“It started out as sort of a sit in, and then it became a protest. It wasn't unlike the 1968 Chicago Democratic convention. When it turned ugly, it turned fast. My nephew was in the crowd and he got tear gassed, and then arrested.” Maggie looked up from her teacup, her eyes moist. “As you know, our family doesn't have too much money, and virtually no political connections. James has been sentenced to a year of hard labor down at the retraining camp in Klamath Falls.”

Benson was surprised. He had no idea one of his neighbors was going through this drama. He also knew, being pretty much politically unconnected himself, there wasn't anything he could do about it.

“Ah, that is just terrible Maggie. I don't know what else to say. These days are options when dealing with the justice system are so limited.”

“James had been working at that warehouse in the same neighborhood for six years now. It wasn't much, but it was steady work and a steady paycheck. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Not unlike some of my friends in Chicago. He's been told that his job will not be available for him when he gets back, and so he'll have to start all over again, probably as a day laborer picking fruits and vegetables at the truck farms.”

Benson was silent for a few moments, and then asked, “So how are you feeling, Maggie? How's the hip?”

“Getting worse, I'm afraid.” As if the question reminded her, she shifted in her chair, wincing with pain. “I've asked the nurse down at the clinic for some pain medication, but she says it'll have to wait until it gets worse. Like, I can't get out of bed level of worse.”

“Can you get any salve from your sister?”

“Not right now. The ingredients needed for a good St. John's wort are difficult to come by, and of course the cannabis alternative is all being used up by cancer patients and stoners.”

“Hmmm, I don't know what else to suggest. Maybe I can ask around at the office, or pick up something on my trip this week.” Benson felt rather helpless.

Maggie lowered her voice. “You know, if it gets too bad, I might have to seek out the folks in the Hemlock Society. They're still around you know, underground and all.”

“Yes, I've heard that.” Benson also knew it for a fact, as his wife requested a little extra help for her final exit.

They talked for a while longer, and then Maggie's electric light flickered at 9 PM, and then went out. She had a candle lit, but couldn't afford to waste it, and so Benson said goodnight. It was time to go to bed, for them both.
drhooves: (Default)
It's been a hectic few weeks, but I've got this scene done, another half written, and a few more rattling around in the old noggin. Taking a little time out now to gather some notes, but not worried about plot, arc, motivations, etc., at the moment. So far I'm surprised how it's developing. Some other writers I've followed have made comments about how their characters and storylines "surprised" them, which makes much more sense now when writing in "pants", or rather "seat of the pants" mode.

Scene # 4, draft #1
*******************
Their scarves, previously crusted with white frost, now hung limp, damp around their necks.

Snowsuit guy, whose name was David, followed behind Benson and Brian as they headed down a muddy path through the snow to a long, low building just under the trees. Entering, Benson was greeted by a welcome punch of warm air, heavy with the smell of cooking oil and wet socks.

“Sit down over there, Mr. Benson,” said Brian. “We'll get Charlie to hustle up some vittles for us.” He pointed to a table near the center of the room. David sat down across from him, saying nothing, his eyes fixed on a large stone fireplace at the end of the room. A small fire burned dimly.

Within a couple of minutes, Brian returned from the next room, the sound of clattering pots and curses drifting faintly across the room. He poured out three cups of hot tea. Benson gratefully grasped his cup in his hands for warmth, and began sipping it loudly.

“Hope you like chow mein. Charlie is from Taiwan originally, so he likes to cook a mixture of vegetables, noodles, and whatever fresh killed critters we might have. His rabbit egg foo young ain't bad.”

Benson nodded, his throat still constricted with the fear of what he thought might be a life ending experience. He shivered again though he felt his body, especially his feet, now warming up.

“David, did you check the charge on the radio's battery pack for tonight's broadcast?”

David nodded. “Yeah, it was windy enough yesterday we got it to just over 90%, so it should be good for the rest of the week.”

Brian looked at Benson. “We received your transmission and confirmation code last night from the cabin. You're not too fast on the keypad, but we got it. Oh, and by the way, the deer population is booming!” He and David laughed. Benson grinned meekly.

The chow mein wasn't bad, but considering how hungry Benson was he thought beef gravy served over old shoe leather would've been great. The long tiring walk had taken its toll, and he involuntarily began to nod off.

“Wake up, sleepyhead.” Benson awoke with a start, the piercing eyes of the man in the black checkered shirt looking at him. He was smiling.

“Are you Theisen?”

“Well, that's one of my names. Most of the gang just call me Boss. My real name is unimportant. And of course at this point, you don't have a need to know.”

Benson considered that for a moment, couldn't argue and replied,“So what's next?”

“First, while we start our meeting in 20 minutes, we'll have Charlie send up some of his world-class coffee to give you a jolt and keep you awake.” Benson nodded.

“We have an operation planned for next week, and again – you have no need to know at this point.”

“At 20:37, we'll be tuned into 41 kilocycles, to listen for a message from central. They're located in the Midwest near an old quarry, with a railroad spur and grain silo. It's a good location for their antenna. Hopefully atmospherics will be favorable.”

Benson nodded again. “What directions or orders will they be transmitting?”

“Not much tonight. Just some estimates of supplies in our area. That's where you come in. We need your help validating those numbers. We're planning to track them for a while, maybe six months or so, and having them be accurate will help us plan the offensive in the fall.”

“Why in the fall?”

“We have our reasons, and assuming you check out over the next few months, you'll probably be pulled in to help plan that.”

Benson didn't have to ask what would happen if he didn't 'check it out'. “So that guy Peters, last summer in Boise – I imagine he didn't check out?”

Theison looked down. “He approached us through a different but similar channel as you. He had a daughter in one of the retraining camps that he thought we didn't know about. So we knew from the first but there was a big potential for him to be compromised.”

Benson let that sink in. “How did you tell he was trying to infiltrate?”

Theisen grinned, a grim, barren grin. “He was caught taking notes on our facility at Sandpoint. After some persuasion, he confessed and gave up a small radio and codes he had.”

“Didn't seem like a whole lot of effort was made to have his death look like an accident,” said Benson casually.

“True. We came up with a rather elaborate scheme for that, but our local guy in Boise got impatient and just bulldozed him right after he arrived. Actually, since Evans was such a loose cannon and a liability, it worked out okay.”

Theisen smiled again. “Evans thought he was a much bigger wheel than he really was, which is why we were cutting him out of the picture anyway. Your security forces just needed to pointed in the right direction.”

Benson's eyes grew wide.“You're telling me an awful lot, considering the stage I'm at.”

“Once again, correct,” replied Theisen. “But we need your help now. Consider yourself fast tracked, accelerated, whatever. The Feds are growing weaker every day, and it's only a matter of time before Chavez moves up from old Mexico. If we don't come to power before then, we'll all be speaking Spanish, or dead, two years from now.”

Benson sighed, a bitter remorse passing through his thoughts. Committed now, he thought. “When do you need those numbers confirmed by?”

“That's what I want to hear. You'll be back in Portland in three days. So about five days from now I'll expect Hilliard to be given the green light to arrange a pickup of the data.”

“That's a quick turnaround, but if that's what you need, I'll get it done.” Benson tried to speak with conviction, but he had his doubts.

The remainder of the evening was spent listening for what turned out to be a two and one half minute message, repeated once with the coded supply numbers for the Northwest district. Benson was amazed at the speed with which a small man, Williams, handled the transmitted code. About ten seconds of fade out occurred during the first transmission, so Williams use the repetition to confirm all the characters and fill in the blanks. Benson figured he would've missed more than half the transmission.

“Here ya go,” said Theisen, handing Benson a copy of the decoded message. “Our estimates of oil, gas, diesel, ammunition, and a few other items in your district.” Benson took it in hand, glanced over the numbers and then carefully folded it up. The ball, as the old saying went, was now in his court.
drhooves: (Default)
Scene # 3, Draft # 1
********************

Outside the laundromat, the temperature was almost freezing, the sun shining brightly off the snow. Benson paused, rummaging around in his jacket for his sunglasses, and started at a brisk pace to the north. Twenty minutes later, the town out of sight behind him, he left the road and struck off between the trees one hundred yards past the railroad culvert.

The first two miles weren't much of a struggle, but then the path became steeper. Rounding a slight bend, Benson stepped between a cleft of two pieces of gray granite. He heard a bark as a black Labrador retriever appeared, tail wagging. He bent down to pet him, stroking the dogs smooth oily coat.

“How are you boy? Good doggie.”

Benson heard a metallic click.

“Keep your hands out, and don't move partner, unless you want that to be the last thing you do on this earth.”

Two men, one dressed in a white snowmobile suit, the other in camouflage fatigues, blocked the trail.

Both wore scarves across their faces, crusted with white frost. The barrel of the semiautomatic rifle looked as big around as a soda pop can thought Benson, especially when you're on the wrong end of it. Snowsuit guy held it carefully.

“Okay, friend. Not moving. Here's my hands.” Benson stood frozen, arms outstretched.

Camouflage guy moved toward Benson. He carried his pistol out, casually, as with practice. Benson noted it was a Browning Hi-Power. He patted Benson down, relieving him of his own nine millimeter compact pistol, wallet, backpack and sheaf of papers including the flyer.

“I hear the deer population is booming.” Benson nervously stuttered. He thought that pass-phrase a bit odd considering a large rifle was pointed at his head.

“We're not concerned about wildlife partner,” said Snowsuit guy. “Take off the jacket and tie his hands behind him.” No counter sign, thought Benson. Did I take the wrong trail? Out here in the Outland, private property and bandits were everywhere.

“Umm, so the deer aren't booming?”

“Nobody cares about deer, brother. You got a problem with that, you take it up with our boss.”

A canvas hood came down over his head, and Benson panicked as it was tied tightly. Lack of vision and difficulty breathing reminded him of his problems with claustrophobia.

Several hours went by as Benson was pulled along by a rope wrapped around his waist. Falling repeatedly, the snow was wet and cold, and eventually invaded every crevice in his shirt and trousers. Damn that rat bastard Hilliard, thought Benson. That old man never indicated the God Loves Only Warriors group were so paranoid.

They stopped twice to rest, but Snowsuit and Camouflage guy remained silent. Finally, Benson heard other voices and smelled smoke. They stopped, and Benson was backed up against a pole.

The hood was yanked off and Benson gratefully breathed in several deep lungfuls of air. The sun was just setting, filtering through the coniferous trees at the other end of a clearing, the rays striking sharp shadows and light. His hands had been untied but then re-tied around the pole and he stood with his back to it. He was colder now, not moving, and began to shiver.

Five minutes later a man walked up, dressed in a red and black checkered shirt, his short hair dark, and beard speckled with gray. He had the air of command, piercing eyes. He looked over Benson carefully and walked around him once slowly.

“Tell us why we shouldn't put a bullet through your skull.”

“Ummm, because if you do, I'll file a complaint about being suffocated by that damn hood you put on me. If you were going to whack me, why the secrecy about where your camp is located?” Benson tried to sound brave, but was compromised by a quavering voice.

For several moments, the man stared Benson in the eyes, then grinned and laughed. “Well, ain't you the spunky one, ya old coot.” A statement, not a question. He motioned to the man in the camouflage jacket. “Untie him Brian, take him over to the mess hall and get him some food and let him dry out. Our new recruit passed his first test, and deserves the guest treatment.”

“Do you want him at the meeting at 20:00?” Brian moved behind Benson and began to untie his hands.

“Not at the beginning. We've got some items on the agenda that's no concern of his - but we'll need him during the latter half.” He met Benson's eyes again. “I know you've got some questions. We'll talk before the meeting, Mr. Benson.” He strode away quickly, heading towards a small cabin near the edge of the clearing, a wisp of blue smoke trailing from a rusted chimney on its roof.


**************************

Scene 2.1, Draft 1

Benson woke up to a pounding headache. The room began spinning as he sat up, and he stumbled into the door frame of the bathroom bounced off and then threw up in the toilet bowl. He had come to the conclusion the evening before that among other things Hilliard was an alcoholic.

It'd taken him almost 6 hours to negotiate the information from Hilliard, give him the money, as well as some of the ration coupons before he would provide the contact information and the initial pass-phrase. Benson knew before long he would have to make a critical decision that would affect the rest of his life.

Splashing cold water from the sink onto his face, he gathered his thoughts. Tomorrow he would take the train and embark on possibly the most dangerous journey of his life. Realizing that he was still somewhat intoxicated, Benson grasped his phone and dialed the attendance clerk at work. He informed him that he wouldn't be coming in this morning and that he was feeling under the weather, and would get back around lunchtime to determine whether or not he would miss the whole day. Of course rather than admit that he had overindulged in alcohol, Benson merely mentioned he had a fever and thought a cold might be coming on.

After sleeping several more hours, he was able to get up take a shower and get dressed. He felt it was important to talk to his boss at least once that day about the upcoming trip. He would try to put a spin on his activities during the trip, trying to make it look as normal as possible. He shuffled down to the corner through a steady drizzle, and waited for the bus. Since the morning rush was over he wasn't exactly sure how long he would have to wait, but he thought that the buses ran it still ran at least once per hour in the afternoon. In about half that time, the lumbering machine appeared, belching out black smoke from the bio-diesel fuel, and surprisingly crowded for that time of day. Benson wedged his way into a seat near the back, hoping he didn't throw up again in the twenty minute trip it would take to get downtown.

Around him was the usual cast of characters found in the city. Some of the more wealthy or well-connected government officials dressed like him were easy to spot, while the rest of the lower class workers often displayed their mended trousers, torn shirts, dirty jackets and unpolished shoes.

Getting off the bus, Benson encountered the drizzle that had now turned to a steady cold rain, and grimaced because he realized he had forgotten his umbrella. He removed his glasses, and put them inside his jacket hoping they would stay dry. It was making him shiver. Only two blocks to his building, but in that time several rivulets of cold water found their way inside his coat.

Benson entered the building and reported to the attendance clerk, and then ambled up two flights of stairs and down the hall to his office.
drhooves: (Default)
So I've got another scene, which is not in chronological order, but I'll just keep plugging away. I've done a minimum of clean up, as this was was transcribed from long hand in a notebook to electronic format via voice recognition s/w (Dragon). It's pretty accurate, but a few errors are introduced. I've got another scene written out, and will post that next, and I've got to note a few things in a prologue.

*****************************

Scene # 2, Draft # 1

Benson locked the door to the cabin, turned around and strapped on his snowshoes, in the dim morning light. There was no wind, and no sound except for his breathing, creating small clouds of steam in the icy air. He shouldered his backpack over his parka, and started through the woods. The silence kept his nerves on edge, and his eyes constantly darted to and fro, side to side, and even a furtive glance backwards now and then to ensure he wasn't being followed.

After almost an hour, he came across a hard-packed trail created by other humans, an occasional sled or toboggan, and some game animal animals. Benson stopped, catching his wind and decided he could now get along without the snowshoes. While on unstrapping the right shoe, he lost his balance and fell, sliding off the elevated portion of the trail, down a short slope, and into an evergreen. The world turned topsy-turvey, and snow filled his neck and arm openings in his parka. The branches were heavily laden with snow, and Benson was caught in a mini-avalanche of white. Sputtering and cursing under his breath, Benson stood up and brushed himself off. "Could've been worse," he thought, remembering the outcome of a Jack London story read as a kid. But it wasn't that cold today, here in the Kanisku Mountains, which had formally been part of the Idaho Panhandle before the Great Die-Off.

Now it was just a remote section of the Northwest Province, encompassing all the terrain between the Pacific Ocean and the Continental divide and north from the deserts of the mid-continent to the Arctic Ocean.

He trudged along, thinking over the plan for today, and the dangers involved. Another half-hour found him at the edge of town, Bayridge, on the eastern shore of Lake Pend Oreille. Sounds from the town drifted down the trail and became louder as he made his way into town. The smells of wood smoke and breakfast cooking were in the air, and the white crunch of snow on the path gave way to the squishy mud and brown slush of the street.

Benson made his way through the cold muck, heading towards the multi-purpose supply store/hotel/restaurant, a three-story brick building which stood at the corner of Main Street and the town square. Like many small burgs now, the building represented the concentration of scarce resources, energy and activity for the few dozen inhabitants. It also served as the train depot for the bi-weekly freight hauls, which allowed it to boast a slim network connection to the rest of the world.

As Benson entered the Bayridge General store, he felt the gaze of the half-frozen regulars around the wood-burning stove, and the beady eyes of the town clerk, Marge, fell upon him.

"Say Mr. Benson, did you sleep well last night?" queried Marge, in her dry, raspy old-maid voice.

Benson looked up, annoyed at her emphasis on the word sleep, and briefly thought about a retort concerning Marge's appearance and stopping a clock, but simply smiled and replied "Like a rock, honey – how about you?" He added a wink, hoping the locals would get ever more confused, but knew he didn't want to make a scene. He was pretty sure his boss had Marge as one of his many stringers, informing not only the townspeople, but the government workers traveling through as well.

Benson shuffled across the floor and went up the steps to his room, ignoring the snickers and snide remarks behind him. In his younger days, as a resource manager of the newly formed North American alliance, he could've ruined the day of the riff-raffs around the stove, but now pushing 60, he was no longer in the mood for confrontation.

He entered his room, and stood for a few moments wondering who might be listening in on the other side of the microphones which surely bugged the room. Benson was sweaty, and so he took off his parka and wool shirt, hanging them on wooden pegs by the door. He poured some water from a pitcher into the wash basin, took a bar of sludgy soap, and washed his face. The water felt good. The grime on the towel looked good. Today's mission was at hand.

********************
Benson pulled the note he had received yesterday from an inner pocket of the parka. He re-read the directions to the meeting place, the pass phrases, and the list of supplies he was supposed to bring. He carefully packed the small automatic pistol, two boxes of precious ammunition, two transistors for a shortwave radio, and a few other miscellaneous items into a sack, and stored that in his backpack.

He glanced at the clock on the wall, and noted it was time to leave. He put on his parka, opened the door to his room slowly, and peered out into the hallway. Seeing no one, he stepped out, locked the door, and went down the back steps and outside. The day was now bright, though cloudy, and the air had lost its early morning chill, though he could still see his breath. He walked briskly down the street to the end of the block, turning the corner and looked for the meeting place. It was the local laundromat. It was at one end of a shabby, single-story building which stretched for half of the block on the other side of the street. He crossed the muddy track diagonally towards the entrance at the far side.

As he entered the deserted facility, a gust of warm steamy air hit them in the face. The floor was covered with dirty linoleum, peeling in numerous places. Several of the machines, both washers and dryers, had missing doors on the front - they were broken and couldn't be used. A radio in one corner was tuned to a news talk station, the host droning on about the efficiency of the provincial government, and the war in the south.

Benson noticed a counter towards the back of the room, near the middle of the building, a candle burning in a brass holder. A hand-bell was on the counter and he tapped it lightly to see if anyone was around. He noticed some flyers posted up on a board of cork on the wall, one in red and black advertising a "good old-fashioned Christian revival". There was some movement, some scuffling, in the room behind the counter and then footsteps. A young girl, in her teens, appeared. She had short black hair and dark eyes.

"May I help you?" she asked.

"Yeah, I've got some clothes that I'd like to wash."

"Sorry. We're only open for public washing two days a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays. We also wash in-house on Wednesdays. You can leave your clothes here, if you'd like us to wash them." Her voice was even, her eyes looking intently at Benson. He figured now or never.

"Really? I heard it from the grapevine that this facility was open on Mondays and Fridays. I'm the regional resource manager. I need some clothes washed today."

"Sorry. Rules are rules. If you want to change the days for washing, take it up with the town council. The generator only runs during the middle of the week."

"Such poppycock." Benson's voice was a half octave higher than normal, now three quarters of the way through the pass phrases.

"Perhaps you'd like to talk with one of the council members, sir?" she suggested. "I'm sure they'd be open to hear your complaint."

"Nah, not right now" Benson tried to add an inflection of dejection in his voice. "I'll just leave my clothes here for now and come back for them later in the week. I'll be here for a few more days."

He swung the bag of dirty clothes up on the counter and pushed it across to the girl. He opened his knapsack, took out the other small bag and pushed it towards her, nodding slightly. She filled out a receipt, and along with another small slip of paper and handed it back to him.

"Thank you sir. Have a nice day" She remained cool, like a rock.

Benson left the laundromat, and stepped outside and back into the bright day. He could feel the sweat, now cooling, running down his forehead and neck. Getting his bearings, he started off on foot to the north,. He had a couple of ranches to visit today, as part of his official visit. But the hard part was over, at least for today.
drhooves: (Default)
First scene draft, more notes:
******************************

Scene # 1, Draft # 1:

Benson sighed and looked at the clock on the wall. He had five minutes to prepare himself mentally for the meeting with Sanders. He's been such a pain lately, always over idiotic stuff. I can't wait until he retires or I get transferred. Benson's thoughts rambled. Glancing at the calendar, he realized in less than two months the government would observe the 35th anniversary of September 11th and the attacks on the Twin Towers. So much had changed since then, and little of it for the better.

Knowing that Sanders demanded punctuality, Benson eased himself out of his chair and walked quietly down the hall to the bathroom. He splashed cold water on his face and straightened his tie, the sounds echoing off the tile walls, the smell of ammonia faint. Looking in the mirror he noticed his hair getting grayer, the lines around his eyes getting deeper. His mustache, once a subtle masculine feature now drooped, its edges ragged. He steeled himself for the confrontation.

A minute later he was standing outside the door to Sanders' office, the best room in the building. Cozy, tidy, warm and no peeling paint on the walls, it actually was a throwback to better times compared to most of the run-down offices where he now spent his time. He knocked lightly on the door frame.

“Good morning Mr. Sanders. Ready for our meeting?”

“Yes, Benson. Come in and sit down. We've got quite a bit of ground to cover today, but before we go over your latest audit reports I'd like to talk to you about that incident last week in Pocatello.”

“I believe I gave the security team all the pertinent information,” said Benson. “I had no idea that that man Gilmore was involved in the black market.”

“That's not important Benson. It reflects poorly on our agency and your judgment.” Sanders reached over and picked up a red pen and began marking on the report, put the pen down, picked up a blue pen and made some additional marks. He was always fidgeting with those damn pens, thought Benson, as if he can't sit still or he's compelled to give the impression of efficiency. What a twit.

“I try to be friendly with the Outlanders,” said Benson. “I find they open up a bit more and will provide accurate numbers of their resources, if I don't come across as too threatening.”

“You've been trained in how to deal with these people,” retorted Sanders, “and that includes being able to sniff out the outlaws and determine if illegal activity is taking place. Auditing is hardly rocket science. You should've known that this guy was trouble and when the security team showed up you should not have intervened and tried to prevent them from doing their job.” Sanders highlighted a sentence. “Now the whole damn thing got blown up since they ended up having to shoot Gilmore. Good thing he died so he can't file a complaint. Not that we would care.” Sanders smiled, his eyes blank. It was like him to think this sort of thing was funny.

“My apologies, sir. I'll try to be more vigilant in the future, and report on the criminals.” Benson considered using the term low-life, but the term choked in his throat. Gilmore had actually been a pretty good guy, with a hearty laugh and well liked by his friends.

“See that you do that.” Sanders picked up the top report. “Now it says here that the farmers in Zone G, section 12 were supposed to harvest 245 thousand bushels of wheat, but the sums from the grain silos only tally up to 239 thousand. How do you explain the shortfall?”

Gilmore would probably quip something about a rounding error. Benson meekly said, “I'm not sure sir, but I understand some fall rains hampered the harvest.”

“Benson, I'm sure getting tired of these excuses. We're missing 6000 bushels.”

“Sorry sir.” Benson was resigned to just sit there and take it. He was unsure what was going to happen next.

“All right, I'll make some more notes and expect a response by Friday. I'll have them to you later today.”

Benson refrained from sighing. Great, more useless paperwork.

“In the meantime, here's a request from security on the incident last week. You need to prepare that report, and will need to track down some information on Gilmore. I also need that done by Friday. That will be all.”

Benson left the office, now fuming inside, but trying not to show it. He started to fantasize about how to get security from Pocatello to show up at their office and get Sanders cut down in some inadvertent crossfire. Then resigned to protocol, he numbly returned to his office.

Sanders picked up his telephone. “Hey chief, I think we might have an opening for your nephew in our branch before too long. I got an older guy, an auditor, that will be leaving soon – via transfer or firing.”

He hung up the phone, and smiled again. Checking his calendar, he saw a late afternoon appointment with another flunky that had to go. Sanders didn't want a smart-ass Mexican on his team, always spouting off about his great wife, two kids and his love for Jesus. He would get this branch ship-shape shortly.

Benson hoisted another mug of beer to his lips, drinking a big gulp, grimacing from the sharp hops and motioned to the bartender.

“Need a shot of that Canadian whiskey liquor, if you have got any left. Then I'm heading out. I'm bushed.”

The man seated next to Benson turned, his bar stool creaking. “Okay, now if we talk about this potential group that might want to be open to your information, and maybe open to meeting up with you, how much is that worth?”

Hiller's eyes gleamed and he rumbled his short grey whiskers. He was trying to figure out how much Benson could afford, and how to gloss over the dangers of contacting GLOW. Working them would be tricky. He knew their methods of retaliation were brutal, swift and sure. Nobody crossed them and lived to enjoy it.

“What's the name of this group again?” Benson's voice was low and ragged, with late day pain seeping into his bones.

“They call themselves GLOW - God Only Loves Warriors. They're in the foothills and mountains just east of Sandpoint. Don't worry about their motivation - they're honest, but fierce. They'd love to have a government insider providing them intel.”


*****************************

More thoughts on answers to questions:

Benson does not have any nickname, he is approximately 50 years old, born in Topeka Kansas. His role is a government employee in what used to be the Department of Homeland security, and his job is auditing resources in the outer lands.

He is 50 years old, a United States citizen, weight average, of Scottish ancestry, with green eyes, gray hair and medium build. He's 6 feet tall with a medium skin tone. He dresses casually as a typical government employee, in old and frayed uniforms and lower-priced clothing. He has some characteristics and some mannerisms, but I'm not sure what they are. His background is that he was an enlisted mechanic in the military, who retired and then went to work for the government.

Because of his work as a mechanic and his knowledge of many different things, he was trained to be an auditor. So his education in school finished with high school, but he has received extensive training in the military and for his government position since then. His current occupation is auditor. As far as traits go will have to think about that. Internal conflicts are something that he is now beginning to have, because he sees the abuse of the government and the tyranny that it holds over the regular citizens and outlanders.. He has external conflicts with this and his boss, but he has no fears. He is a widower with no children, in good health but having difficulty finding a reason and a purpose in his life. His desires are to find a new purpose and he's finding that the idea of rebelling against the government may motivate him.

Benson's home is in the ruins of the city formally known as Portland. His workplace is a revamped office building down near the Willamete River, and next to a burned out church. His other hangouts in the Portland area include other government facilities, the shopping bazaar and farmers market, and of course a couple of low-end bars.

As far as Benson's back story goes, it wasn't until his wife died that he started to go through a sort of a mid to late life crisis. Will have to add in a few things to figure out exactly how he got to where he is today.
*****************************

Questions from Earlier Exercise:

So I completed the first exercise, with the content here:

https://drhooves.dreamwidth.org/647.

A couple of comments. Love the "non-thinking" brain dump for generating ideas. I find that about 20% or so has useful content, and flushing the other 80% leaves me fresh for new stuff. Or so it seems.

The other thing is that Rule # 1 is something I had to get used to when writing fiction. With a long technical career behind me, I'd gotten into the habit of simply tweaking list-generated emails, procedures and technical documents. Fiction doesn't get created with nearly the same rigid approach. It's been painful, but I'm learning to "embrace the re-write...."

And now for the questions. I've settled on a tale about a government employee named Benson who snaps, and kills his supervisor. (probably something many of us can relate to).

1. What causes Benson to snap? How fast or slow is the process getting to that point?
2. What justifies his action, if anything?
3. What timeframe does the story take place? (near future?)
4. What are Benson's duties?
5. What other characters should be in the story?
6. What's the moral, or arc?
7. Is the supervisor a bad guy, a good guy, or something in between?
8. What other storylines/subplots go along with the story?
9. Is Benson mentally ill, or perfectly lucid? Meds?
10. What is Benson's backstory?
drhooves: (Default)
Random Characters:

1. hard-boiled private eye with a drinking problem
2. gangster with greasy hair, big belly, snub-nosed revolver
3. dumpy dame with big chest, too much makeup, dyed blond hair
4. thin beautiful women dressed to the nines
5. crazy cute twenty year-old in sweats, blond hair, brown eyes - intense
6. meek small slender man with graying hair, tidy mustache
7. muscle bound airhead in mid twenties, who can bench press 350 lbs
8. government employee, supervisor, clueless blow hard and cruel
9. Alpha male, pack leader, middle aged, executive air
10. Inquisitive 10 year-old, either sex (these days choose from a dozen)

Active Verbs:

1. ponders
2. reviews
3. considers or contemplates
4. flick
5. press or push
6. strolls
7. investigates
8. trims or harvests
9. bundles up
10. burn

Interests:

1. sorting or searching through old books, magazines and maps at the library
2. planning and execution of process or procedure
3. struggling walk through underbrush in the dark
4. walking in the rain
5. rowing boat across calm lake at sunset or sunrise
6. driving car, riding motorcycle - travel to lonely spot
7. use of firearms, cleaning, loading, firing
8. cooking food - washing, prep, ingredients, final result
9. trip to grocery store during rush hour, checking out
10. swilling down beverages at neighbor's brewfest

And now, the results:

1. The private eye Blackward ponders how much longer he has to wait to hit the bar, while sorting through the old real estate records in the library.
2. Gangster Guido reviews the financial records, notes the loss of money at the strip club, and declares the current manager must be stealing money - and orders him to be rubbed out.
3. Dame Delores, considers her options after jumping from the car and crawling through the brush down the hill - go back to Sid and get beaten up more, or catch a bus back to Topeka.
4. Lindsey smiles, knowing with a flick of her hair she'll get another free drink and a cab ride home versus walking ten blocks in the rain.
5. Becky wrestled the boat to the shore and pushed off, the oars echoing loudly across the pond in the morning mist.
6. Benson strolled slowly, the walk of death, down the hallway to the office of Sanders - knowing the verbal assault was coming, and wishing he was riding his scooter to the lake instead.
7. Gary lifted the box of motor parts to investigate the space behind, and spotting a mouse trap triggered it when picking it up, causing the spring bracket to slam his thumb. His gun fell to the floor, discharging, and blowing his left big toe into oblivion.
8. Sanders deftly trimmed the entrails of the fish with the fillet knife, dunked the slab of white firm flesh into a bowl of saltwater, then a bowl of crumbs, and placed it on the grill above the red coals.
9. Twickenfeld bundled up the canned food, scanning the aisle for out-of-place shoppers as they scurried to and fro, then headed to the self-checkout line trying to fit in as another casual father getting dinner.
10. Troy wondered if the curtains in the garage would burn, thinking it was a good idea after sneaking and drinking two brown bottles from Mr. Smith's cupboard - maybe he wouldn't notice they were missing if he had to deal with a small fire....

And now, the results, in reverse:

1. Blackward lit another match, the moist cigar struggling to burn, while he tipped back and finished another glass of vanilla porter, the warmth of the brew now coursing through his veins.
2. Guido reached into the cash register, bundling up the bills and rolls of coins, while keeping his Smith and Wesson leveled at the shocked customers, the ringing from the blast and blue smoke receding slowly.
3. Delores trimmed the browned edges of cabbage leaves fresh from her garden, before giving them a final rinse and adding them to the slow cooker for soup.
4. Lindsey paused and said, “Sorry Joe, you should have known it wouldn't take an in-depth investigation to find out you cheated on me. See you in Hell.” Her aim true, the automatic barked sharply twice, Joe slumping to the floor with a rattle and groan, a pool of blood slowly forming beside him.
5. Strolling nonchalantly to the car and leaving Ted behind in Lover's Lane, Becky assumed the care-free air of a happy coed, in contrast to her sharp retort, “Yeah, jackass, and you thought voting against Hillary was gonna be smarter for keeping your job. How's that working out? Have a nice walk back to the dorm.”
6. Rowing quietly to the middle of the lake, Benson reached down and pushed the body wrapped in a cheap cotton blanket overboard with a splash, the chain and anchor rattling metallically against the side of the aluminum boat. “See you in Hell, Sanders.”
7. Gary slowed to a walk, the rain coming down harder now and wisps of steam rising from his hot arms and chest. He flicked droplets of water off his sunglasses, to clear his vision and observe the ladies eyeing him from passing cars.
8. Sanders could hear Benson tracking him, and contemplated on charging him to get his gun, or laying low and silent in the brush and hoping not to be discovered. What made him snap?
9. Twicken spoke softly, but with urgency. “I've reviewed our stores of ammunition, and like Washington back in the Revolutionary War, we can't afford an extended assault or defense. Hit and run tactics are one of our few options.”
10. Troy examined the drawing in the old Scout manual carefully, and pondered whether or not the bungee cords could be used to craft the sling-shot, and if it could be used to hunt rabbits.

So far, I like Benson, a meek government employee, to snap and murder his boss.
Page generated Jun. 26th, 2025 08:46 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios